When Celebs "Out" Us...

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about Brad Pitt, and one the comments posted by a reader resonated with me: 

"I had to face the fact that I was gay after watching Legends of the Fall."

After reading that, it occurred to me that this otherwise innocuous comment scratched the surface of a larger, more profound question: how many gay people realized they were gay after discovering a certain celeb or public figure?

We all have that "a-ha" moment, most of us privately. But for those whose moment comes to them in public, sitting in a crowded movie theater surrounded by people having an altogether different experience, it can feel as though your secret has just been revealed to the world - LOUDLY.

My co-worker James had the same experience. For him, it came in the form of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas -- when, as a 7th grader, he went to see the movie with his family and cousins.

It came without warning.

"It was intense," he said. "Everyone else was there to see Dolly Parton's boobs - and so was I, I thought. But all of a sudden, there was a scene where a bunch of farm-hands were dancing in jeans...shirtless. And something happened. I was excited, but terrifed.  It was also horrible - I got all hot and flushed and nervous - but I felt glued to my seat. It wasn't until after the movie that I realized what had just happened, and I wanted to just put it behind me."

He thought he had, but then later that week, he picked up an issue of People magazine that featured the movie on the cover.  "I opened it up and I'll never forget it," he said.  "In the article about the movie, they also had a photo of the farm hands!  Only this time, they were in their underwear!  It was then that I pretty much knew I was gay -- and it was sort of scary."

As gay people, we all have that "Who was your first celebrity crush?" stories, but this is deeper than that.   

Once I started asking around, it seemed like every gay person I knew had a moment of clarity  where they realized they were gay -- thanks to something they'd seen in movies, on TV or via some sort of media.

"The second I saw Luke from Flipper, I knew I'd be gay for the rest of my life," my friend Richard said. "In fact, I still get butterflies when I think of him."

Clearly, this is a phenomenon unique to gays and lesbians. Straight people don't see George Clooney or Catherine Zeta-Jones up on the big screen and think, "Oh my god, I am soooo straight!"  Lucky them - they just get to watch and enjoy.

But for gays, media has the power to reveal ourselves to ourselves, and to forge a connection to something larger. For many of us, one of the first things we do when we are coming out is to buy "gay" music or rent a "gay" movie (not necessarily porn) in order to learn the common language and start to feel part of a community.   

As for my cinematic coming out, it was Richard Gere and his tight-tight jeans in American Gigolo. I was young, had barely given any thought to girls OR boys, and then POW! It hit me, just like it happened to my friend James...I was gay, and obviously life was never the same again.

What about you? Did you realize you were gay thanks to a movie or TV show? Share your experience here.

(Images courtesy of Getty, Yahoo)

Comments

[William]

I remember mine very clearly. Well, I had an inkling that I was gay after my 4th grade teacher walked into our classroom for the first time.

But then in 6th grade, a mini-series called "Rich Man, Poor Man" was on TV and I found myself being attracted to just about everyone on the show. But mainly, it was Rudy and Tom. They were played by Peter Straus (actually, that may not be his name) and Nick Nolte. I sort of then starting realizing I might be gay, but I didnt know what that even was.

Then when I saw Nick in "The Deep" the following summer, I definitely knew. I have to say, it was scary and I supressed it for 10 years. But to this day when I see pics of Nick in the 70's, I remember the crush.

[C J]

For me it was Matthew in A TIME TO KILL.....when he took his shirt off...wow...lift off...

[Lou]

i found out about it when i was watching my dad's hidden porn, i was like, y there r only two women doing it, where r the guys,i want a guy, i want a guy!!! oh.......
and then, it was the 'bay watch' confirmed it.
i still get exited when i see a man in red shorts.

[Chris]

It was so long ago. I was watching "My Friend Flicka" starring Roddy McDowell, and I fell in love. Of course I'd also fallen in love with Tommy Rettig who starred in Lassie. Back then no one talked about "gay", or even homosexuality where I grew up, so I didn't know until I went away to school that I wasn't supposed to be playing with my next door neighbor under the sheets.

[zarxo]

superman, the hulk, of course when i grew older, Tom Cruise in Risky Business.

The first time feelings hit and I realized it is this old movie where two guys (Erich and Billy) are stuck in a Turk prison and one bath's the other. My religous mom had a fit.

[zarxo]

http://www.prisonflicks.com/reviews.php?filmID=61

[corrective_unconscious]

Imagining Senator Larry Craig tap dancing around in that mensroom with a bit of toilet paper stuck to his cummy sock makes me wanna start dating women for the first time...Thanks for nothing, Larr!

[Zeb]

Christopher Atkins in Blue Lagoon! OMG... I still fantasize about him.

[mrsensitivebda]

For me it was David Charvet running along the beach for the intro to Baywatch.

[hdg]

Tom Cruise in Top Gun. I actually turned to my brother and said "if I was a chick, I'd do him." His reaction was...well, stunned disbelief.

[jeffrey]

It was Greg Brady of the Brady Bunch. The actor is Barry Williams who I met at a party at my house in 1993. He was on tour with the show - City of Angels. My house mate was part of the crew. I told him that it was because of him that I knew that I was gay - His response, "I have heard that before." My roommate quickly changed the subject with - "tell me about your affair with Florence Henderson. Barry quickly lead us at the crudite table.

[bryan lovsness]

There were times we might remember such as the kiss in "Sunday Bloody Sunday" or the comfort of watching Robbie Benson or Rob Lowe or Harry Hamlin but NOTHING touched me more than reading "THE FRONTRUNNER" - a movie that I believe either is or is still to be reaching the big screen soon and MAY be as touching and sincere and BEAUTIFUL as "Brokeback Mountain."

[bryan lovsness]

ok,ok let's be truthful - for those of us who can remember who cannot diminish the hard-ons caused by "Ben Casey" and "Dr. Kildare." Then there was "The Waltons" and Richard Thomas and "Heath" and "Jarrod" and the boys of "The Big Valley."

[Matt]

I've been blaming Morrissey for turning me gay for quite a while now.

[muslcop]

Frank Nero, Italian actor.

[muslcop]

Frank Nero, Italian actor.

[lexguy1976]

There are many but the one that sticks out the most is Lorenzo Lamas running around in speedos on Falcon Crest.

[rural_man_city_mentality]

In eigth grade,I took the most mannish girl in my class to see
Sean Connery in Goldfinger and became physically aroused every time he had his shirt off. Being on a date with a girl and getting turned on by Sean definitely brought my identity as a gay man home. I cried for a week.

[Akshay]

Playing with the boys...Topgun, that pretty much made me realized that i wanted to as well...(play with the boys!!)

[Perry]

I had suspected for a while, but in 1982 when I was a sophomore in high school, I saw the movie Making Love late one nite on HBO. Seeing a hot hairy Harry Hamlin and Michael Ontkean making out sent me over the edge. I knew at that moment that was the type of person I was attracted to. It took me a few more years to figure out in my own mind how to make it work, but by college, I was out, proud and happy!

[kuffpah]

Come on....WHAT little boy of a certain age (40's) DIDN'T have a crush on either Ponch (Erik Estrada) or John (Larry Wilcox) or BOTH (my case) from CHiPs? Admit it...admit it. True, we are embarrassed now...but back then?

I have also linked my interest in bondage and S&M to Batman and Robin, and reruns of Flash Gordon serials (not to mention the movie, "Flash Gordon)!

[Juan]

1. David Cassidy from the Partride Family

2. Dr. Marcus Welby's assistant, (the doctor, not Hortencia, the receptionist!).

3. The white guy in the Mod Sqad!

I bet if I saw pics of them, I'd turn strait........ but seemed to dothe trick them!!

[Zak]

For me it had to be Jean-Claude Van Damme in Bloodsport. Damme, did he have a nice ass.

[Paul]

It was George Michael's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go video. The moment I saw this man with gold hoop ear-rings in EACH ear, neon gloves, and bleached hair I feel in love - and it follows me to this day (eventhough he refuses to stay out of public toilets!).

[darryl]

For me it was Donny Osmond, and Ron Eli as Tarzan. I still have fantasies about both to this day.

[hi]

you all are a bunce of crazy motherfuckers , you guys are simply not serious with yourselves

[RJ]

OK - going way, way back. Michael Onkeaton(sp) in "The Rookies". COuldnt take my eyes off him - so damn cute!!! When "Making Love" came out well...I flipped.

[phoenix99]

Late 1979, I was 14 years old and watching "The Bell Jar" on HBO with my sister. There's a scene where Jameson Parker is stripping, slowly for the female lead, and I got wood! It was the first time I had gotten turned on by a man, and it was glorious! Jameson Parker will always have a place in my hard, er, heart.

[MaxFrost]

I go back to the 60s. My first was Dick Shawn, dancing in his red shorts in It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World. (I guess Ethel Merman playing his mother didn't hurt). In one scene in particular he leans back and you can clearly see his white jockies underneath. I was 9 years old and didn't realy understand why I liked looking at his hairy thighs. It was worth three hours of Buddy Hackett. From then on, Sean Connery in Goldfinger, Peter Tork in the Monkees, Tom Jones, Christopher Jones in anything, of all people, Ken Berry in Mayberry RFD, the hot father in the TV show Flipper, and Chad Everett in Marcus Welby.

[eastsidejim]

Watching Tarzan movies on Saturday mornings (Johnny Wiesmuller sp?). Later on a porn book that featured a "caped crusader" rescuing a kidnapped boy. You can guess what the "caped crusader's" reward was.

[Stephen Berwind]

Peter O'Toole and Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia. I wanted to run away from home and join the arabs in the desert.

[Cameron]

The first thing that popped into my head while reading this article was Bo Duke from The Dukes of Hazard. I loved that blond hair and those tight jeans!

[robert eugene oregon]

michael landon, on bonanza. oh lordy when he hopped off his horse with a semi woody. ecstasy. then there was the guy that played james west, on wild,wild west. especially the one episode when the inseam of his pants ripped out and you could see his tighty whiteys. i don't ever remember looking at women the same way i looked at men.

[John]

CHIPS definitely was the first for me. I remember there was an episode with a storyline about Chippendale's, and that was almost too much for me!
The Dukes of Hazzard was also a real eye-candy fest for me. Bo Duke...mmmm.

[Putney]

It was watching Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Brian Jones in 1965 - I was in 8th grade at the time. 1960's Keith was an underrated gem. Unfortunately he didn't age well.

[Viana]

For me... I realized I was gay prior to, but just one random day I decided to check out this L word business and it inspired me to begin partaking in the gay lifestyle so to speak... IT WAS AWESOME!

[kaeri]

I'm bi; Gina Gershon in "Bound" made me lose my mind!

[Chad]

I don't remember his name, but he was an athlete that did Jockey underwear ads in the early 80's, I use to cut them out of magazines and save them. I too thought Jon on chips was hot, I use to dream about him. I never admitted at that time that I was gay though. I must have been in 7th grade.

[Brad]

For me it was Ben Murphy in "Alias Smith & Jones". I fell in love with Thaddeus Jones! Pete Duel was cute but Ben Murphy was hot!

[Grace]

"But I'm a Cheerleader" was mine. I was fourteen, sitting with my mom and gay older brother and his friend, all people who weren't turned on by women, and I saw Clea DuVall and Natasha Lyonne and realized that that was a future I could see for myself (another woman, not gay rehab). Man oh man I think I would enjoy any movie with either of them in it, no matter how bad it is.

[Tom]

Brad, the underwear model may have been Jack Scalia, or before that baseball player Jim Palmer.

I remember getting excited by the guys in my sister's teen magazines in the '60s. I actually used to pray that Bobby Sherman would move in next door. Never mind that we lived in rural Virginia.

[erinmar13]

for me it was catherine zeta-jones in the haunting. halfway through the movie i realized straight girls probably wouldn't be staring at her ass every time she turned around.

[montrose970]

It was Donny Osmond for me too. But the best part of that was when I became a neighbor and got to know him, and told him so. He was very cool about it, and a bit speechless at first.

[queerplanet]

I liked when Divine got humped in the church and saw the Virgin Mary.

Then I KNEW I was gay.

[Your_Fear]

The Blue Lagoon for sure, I rented that movie when I was 16, and I found Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins so hot that I was like: I do both... at once!

:)

She is still beautiful. Oh I really loved Robby Benson, didn't knew about him until I found a poster inside my sister's magazine he really haunted my dreams for way too long.

[Nick]

Micheal York in Cabaret...

[Rhino%%]

uhhhhh pitt and james franco. but im only 25...sooo tom cruise risky bizznzz

[Phil]

Oh god, Lloyd Bridges on Sea Hunt. I loved watching him underwater, his hair just swayed back and forth and that ass, he wore square cut before square cut were hot. I insisted my mom let me grow my hair out, and Bud and Sandy's dad on flipper. The hottest I ever felt, swimming class 7th grade, we swam nude and after class we went into the shower and the teacher walked in from the pool. He was drop dead gorgeous anyway, but he walked up the steps got to the top and slid down his suit. There my God stood, naked. Seeing him walk up those stairs and slide that suit off his hips was like there was no one else there just me and him. I stared watched him soap up, especially his cock and balls. It was the best.

[thesp467]

Hair the movie, when they got out of the water from the late night swim in his wet white boxers i swear you could see his bush and I realized that I didn't even look at the women I think they were even topless? And the military exams scene...I gotto go to Blockbuster....

[Wayne]

Definitely Jan-Michael Vincent in any film; he usually played a working-class, muscular, pouty damaged dude. Many porn stars emulated his look, with good reason!