Why So Afraid?

This post marks our 500th post on the Out Front Blog. In just over two years, we’ve now reached a milestone in thought, opinion and dialogue. How ironic then, that as we continue and expand the conversation, the so-called “mainstream media” seem less interested in gay and lesbian communications.

Note: This post originally appeared on the Out Front Blog on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 under the title "Afraid of Gay?"

The past several weeks have brought a number of examples of what looks – to me, at least – like fear of gay people and gay issues. For example:

• An almost utter lack of “mainstream” media coverage about LGBT ballot initiatives and the role of gay voters in elections across the country before the presidential election (coverage since then has been dominated by blogs and LGBT outlets)
• The sudden, unexpected dismissal of an actress playing a lesbian from “Grey’s Anatomy,” the hit television show on ABC
• The return of juvenile, humorless “let’s make fun of gays” antics on NBC’s Saturday Night Live

It’s almost as though media has somehow forgotten what to say or how to cover our lives. Whether they are concerned that they’ll “offend” us in some way or they think that the passage of anti-gay ballot initiatives is some indicator of the mood of the country (meaning they shouldn’t talk about us), the result is the same. Less attention to our lives and an almost embarrassment of talking about us openly and honestly.

Left unchanged, does this trend mean we are becoming personae non grata in newsrooms and scriptwriter planning meetings? 

With the exception of the hit ABC television show “Brothers and Sisters,” which ran an excellent gay-themed show Sunday night that featured no less than three same sex kisses between a married male couple, straight media seems to be heading right back into the closet and dragging popular entertainment and media coverage with it.

Why do we wonder about the reasons people stay in the closet when straight society’s acknowledgment of our relationships is not to acknowledge them at all?

I think that’s the reason we saw such lackluster coverage of Proposition 8 before the election – a reluctance to address “complex” issues such as gay marriage in media coverage. Wanda Sykes, in her Las Vegas “coming out” speech last weekend, seemed to reflect the outcome of this coverage when she said that she didn’t think she needed to be out, but that the passage of Prop. 8 made her feel “personally attacked” and pushed her to be more vocal.

My thoughts on this theory of “fear” of gay people aren’t new, and I’ve written about them lately here. I really do think a big reason for this renewed silence is fear of the unknown and fear of doing or saying “the wrong thing.” This seems to be true particularly among well-meaning people who think of themselves as "gay-friendly." In a day and age when we can finally elect an African-American person to the highest office in the land, we ought to also be able to fully and honestly acknowledge all of the people in our society.    

Fear is ugly and divisive, particularly when fear of the “other” drives discrimination and bigotry and serves as a convenient excuse for ignoring an entire community of people. It’s okay to be gay and it should be okay for media and “straight society” to acknowledge that now and forever.

(Photo: ABC)

Comments

[corrective_unconscious]

moron, self hating, closet apologist for homophobes > And even if you say "They deserve it", or "they started it first," or "...but they're taking away my rights" - all of which may or may not be true - that's still no reason to hate or to use bad language.

Pogroms, that is, the systematic denial of the rights of a minority group by the state, are violence. The talibangelicals sh-ts who come on to these boards and post their lying, defaming, homophobic BS should be called names from the outset. Then they can just go back to their "reparations therapy" [sic] friends and their religious cults/hate organizations for comfort.

[Thomas]

First of all, the gay community is at a cross roads because the gay community is NOT evolving to the respect that it is demanding.

The gay community earned the respect in how they fought back for their civil rights. WONDERFUL!

The gay community earned the respect in how they fought for tolerance, respect, financial support for HIV/AIDS research and self responsibility to avoiding and managing the disease.

HOWEVER THE RIGHTS OF MARRIAGE AND ADOPTION REQUIRE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE THAN MUCH OF THE GAY COMMUNITY IS STILL LIVING!

1) You cant ask for marriage and adoption if gays still consider open ended casual relationships that last 5 years or less as MARRIAGE.

2) You cannot ask for respect as an individual if your still identifying and labelling yourself and segments of gays as flannel bears, leather/bondage, twink, daddy, whatever.

3) Civil Unions are bestowed by the government. Marriage is bestowed by a relgion. You cannot ask a religion to accept gay marriage if gays still consider relgion an enemy to mock and rebel!

4) Yes, mocking is a sign of equal rights but whats worse is the truth behind the joke and I think that the jokes are both a sign of tolerance but also a sign that gays and the gay community are still retarded from in a state of prolonged / permanent adolescence...and the jokes work because they ring true. Those jokes should be taken to heart. They are sending the message that gays as individuals and as a community are much to conformist and stereotypical.

TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THESE JOKES AND ABOUT THE ABSENCE OF JOKES WITHOUT ANY SELF REFLECTION WITHIN THE GAY COMMUNITY IS NEITHER FAIR TO GAYS OR TO STRAIGHTS.

THE GAY COMMUNITY DOES NOT WANT TO FOLLOW THE PATH OF THE JEWS WHERE THEY CAN MAKE FUN OF EVERYONE, MAINTAIN THE INSULARITY OF THEIR COMMUNITY AND THEIR STEREOTYPES, THEN CLAIM ANYTHING THEY DISLIKE AS ANTI-SEMETIC. JEWS ARE NOTORIOUS FOR PLAYING BOTH SIDES OF ANY ARGUMENT TO THEIR ADVANTAGE AND PROFIT.

[corrective_unconscious]

lying homophobe > 1) You cant ask for marriage and adoption if gays still consider open ended casual relationships that last 5 years or less as MARRIAGE.

Hey liar, look at the divorce rate of heterosexuals and then shut your talibangelical trap.

bigot > Civil Unions are bestowed by the government. Marriage is bestowed by a relgion.

Marriages confer secular, government benefits. End of story. The benefits afforded by civil unions do not include federal benefits and do not transfer across state or nation boundaries.

If your hateful "religious" organization doesn't want to perform marriages for same sex people then it is free not to as the law stands now. So your rights are in now way infringed by fast approaching marriage equality.

BTW, when you defame the entire gay community by referring to certain specific behaviors, I assume then you likewise condemn all heterosexuals because of all those women being raped by heterosexual men. You disgusting, fascist liar.

[corrective_unconscious]

Oops, I forgot to call the lying, deranged bigot an "anti Semite." Excuse me.

[BMc]

What? Somebody still watches SNL?!?!