Ted Haggard Should Date Larry Craig

If ever two gents were made for each other, it would have to be Ted Haggard and Larry Craig. I'm almost positive that when eHarmony starts offering same-sex matches in the wake of last month's law suit, these two will be the first to receive inbox notices on each other "based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility" the site promotes on commercials.

And no -- I didn't grab these photos from their eHarmony profiles!

Both Haggard and Craig popped up again in the news last week.

An attorney for Larry Craig stated that the former senator has given up on appealing his conviction in the foot-tapping sex sting case, which will now hopefully give him more time to be light in the feet somewhere else other than airport bathrooms. He claims that he's going into the consulting business to work on philanthropic and environmental issues. Of course, he didn't bother running for re-election.

Ted Haggard just completed an interview with the Associated Press, stating that he's back from the wilderness -- meaning that he "went through a wandering in the wilderness time, and I just thank God I'm on the other side of that." He will focus on selling insurance and promoting his debt-reduction software, and he even managed to capitalize on his gayness with a new HBO film.

So it seems to me that the universe has aligned these men to be together, as they embark on a liberating new chapter in their lives. They don't have to worry anymore about those pesky conversations with their devoted wives explaining why they crave man love. They don't have to sneak around looking for hot gay sex in fear of losing their good-standing conservative reputations and careers. And they certainly don't have to keep explaining their sexuality as this, that or something in-between. We got it. They both grew up in a generation that taught there is no room for gay (or having gay tendencies) under the weight of Norman Rockwell magazines and Sunday School Bible verses.

So there's no reason for them to keep persuading us that they did something wrong by acting on gay feelings. With nothing to lose, it's time for them to kick their alleged shared male escort to the curb and explore their own relationship!

The way I see it, these two are perfect boyfriend material for each other. C'mon -- wouldn't a former Republican senator and evangelical pastor be the perfect right-wing conservative homo power couple? Oh, the places they could go ...

Photos: Getty Images

Comments

[davis]

Can't we allow those guys to go back to the normal lives and keep them off the news. don't we have enough bad gay examples, without parading those two in front of everyone.