Op-Ed Can Guys Actually Be Bisexual?

There's a joke that's been floating around for a while. Questions: What's the difference between a gay guy and a straight guy? Answer: about a six pack. For many gay men, landing a straight guy is tantamount to getting a great job, buying a Porsche or heading out on a two-month trip of Europe. It's a goal a lot of gay men set for themselves, but one that they rarely achieve. When they do, questions arise: Is the guy really straight? Is he bisexual? these questions usualy beg a final question: Is it really possible for a guy to be bisexual? There are a lot of opinions about this, but when you ask gay men, the answer is often "No."

In our culture, if a guy has oral or anal intercourse with another guy, most would say that he's gay, because, for many of us, "being gay" describes a man who has sex with other men.

Sure, we can say that many other things go into being gay, but sexual activity is what many of us believe what makes up the person who is gay. A man could be into leather and Levi's; he could really like theater; he could really be into fashion. These interests don't necessarily make a man gay, though. But when this man has sex with other men, there's really no denying what camp he falls into.

So what do we make of these guys who define themselves as "bi"? Are they really fooling themselves as they screw their way down the path to gayhood, or do they really enjoy having sex with women? I realize that some people are just sexually charged and will take it wherever they can get it. But I say that if you're a guy having sex with another guy, chances are there's a part of you that's in denial, and only time will tell when you finally come around to the realization that, yup, you're gay.

A lot of guys are all about animal instinct. We get it when we can. We need to drop our seed and move on to the next guy. OK, OK -- I just heard a collective scream from all of you who believe in the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. Of course emotions play a role in gay male relationships, and there's no question that men can commit to each other. But think about how many gay couples you know who play around, either together or separately. Why? Because gay men like to screw.

And we like to watch people screwing. How many porn stars are "gay for pay"? These hot, buff, sexy guys who start out doing solo scenes, and then they let some guy have oral sex with them, and next thing you know they're a Falcon exclusive bottoming for everyone. But then you hear they have wives or girlfriends away from the cameras who are very understanding and supportive. Or are they just stupid? Are these guys really doing it for the money and fame and glory? My opinion is that they're not bi. They're not straight. They're gay and they're fooling themselves. Or they're fooling us. But do we care? As long as they bring the six pack, we're usually pretty OK with it.

(Image courtesy of Getty)

Comments

[Jim in Indy]

What a hollow argument. Couldn't you have developed a better argument than that?? What kind of insight are we supposed to get from a ridiculous rambling like that one? That provided no unique look at a phenomenon that could use some serious scrutiny. The plain fact is that we are all sexual beings. Although I personally am extremely proud to be gay and out, I also have had friends who had intimate male relationships, then female relationships. Bisexuality among males exists -- it's a fact. Human sexuality, due to our nature as sentient beings, means bisexuality comes natural to us. We explore.

Next time put some real thought into your blog. Spend more than five minutes writing.

[guy]

I think gay people who don't believe in bisexuality are some of the most hypocritical people in the world. What about certain people--maybe some of our parents, for one?--who didn't believe that you could be gay? They just don't see how it was possible. Well my argument to them was they're not inside my body; they have no idea what I'm feeling inside; and that's the same argument I have to bi-phobic people and people who don't believe in bisexuality; how can you possibly know what the other person's feeling?

[Miguel]

Laughable, ridiculous and mediocre; how there is a “gay” if there is not a “bi”; between black and white = gray

[Aaron]

Those who don't believe in bisexuality are uneducated and ignorant to the scope of human sexuality!

[Dan]

I agree with Aaron. If you don't believe in bisexuality, you basically are denying the fact that everyone is individual, and that sexual orientation is something that is also very individual. Even though I personally identify as gay, it is not my position to judge how other men identify. Since I cannot get into their heads and see and feel their attractions, it is only for them to describe whether they are gay, bisexual, straight, or whatever.

[Joe]

Well the artical is written from a personal opinion. Also it is pretty poorly written at that. One opinion no others seem to count intersting indeed.

[Odd John]

I realize that this is a controversial subject with both the homosexual and heterosexual communities. However, as a gay man, I come down on the side that bisexual men do/can exist. Hear me out.

I think the reason that the heterosexual community may have a problem/disbelief in acknowledging bisexuality is because of the widespread stigmatization/ignorance regarding homosexuality in general.

With the homosexual community (especially males), too often those in the stressful process of coming to terms with their homosexual feelings desperately employ bisexuality as a concept to salvage some sense of 'normality'.

In addition, (amongst the gay male population) the internalized homophobia/insecurity that leads so many to staunchly proclaim their 'masculinity' has led to the fetishism of bisexual and 'str8' (what can that even mean?) guys. This shallow social stratification likely serves to further alienate gay men from the concept.

Also, because bisexual people in hetero relationships need not overtly express their complete natures to the mainstream, there may be bitterness which comes from a perception that they are 'passing' and not really facing the difficulties of the homosexual struggle.

Lastly, those in relationships with bisexual people may feel an insecurity that (as a result of the capacity for dual attraction) their partner will show no devotion and "switch" over to the opposite sex as it suits their whim/convenience.

For myself (self-described gay), it comes down to this - Just as heterosexuals may not be able to personally empathize with sexual feelings I have for the same sex, I must admit that there can be other groups whose instincts/feelings I cannot personally grasp. However, this does not mean I can't recognize and respect them. As we've all seen, our world (as homosexuals and human beings) is complicated and we must do our best to help each other in it.

Bisexuals do share our challenges (as well as some of their own unique ones) and it is vital that we all find a way to come through this as one great, loving people.

[Miguel]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual

[wolf4t3]

the real question is, can guys actually be straight?

[Samus]

How unbelievably superficial to reduce the argument to "women are more emotional". Not only is this an egregious over-generalization, but it feeds into the societally romanticized exclusivity of the bisexual woman, effectively marginalizing their male counterparts.

It's both remarkable and truly disappointing how closed-minded gay men can be on this issue. Comically enough, I find that the most vehement opponents of the concept of bisexual men are gay men that used to claim bisexuality themselves. Usually, it's a short-sighted individual who had great struggles with his own coming out process, and now that he's "enlightened", he wants to force that awakening on every male he can reach, without regard to who he is and how he identifies himself.

To the bisexual men out there: get used to disregarding ignorance, and don't forget -- when you are faced with closed-minded challengers, remember that you don't need to take them to bed with you. The only person who needs to care about how you label yourself (if you choose to at all) is the person you're with. And you'll find it endlessly amusing to watch angry gay men fume when you simply smile, shrug, and say "If you say so."

To all closed-minded gay men: There are still people who believe that homosexuality is a sin for which you'll burn in hell for all eternity. Know that I look at you with the same incredulity that you regard them. Your egocentric and hypocritical perspective has a seriously juvenile approach if you can't look beyond the bridge of your own nose to recognize shades of gray. Sexuality is a spectrum. Look at documentation of the few ancient societies who didn’t carry the same stereotypes we do: bisexuality was common. How sad that your insecurities contribute to stifling our own societal evolution.

[Luke]

God, this article is fucking ridiculous. The puking comment was extremely stupid as well, and I'd classify that as a form of discrimination.

If guys can like other guys, or girls can like other girls, or a guy can like a girl, or a girl can like a guy: why is it SO far fetched that a guy or girl can like BOTH? Is it completely absurd? Are you just trying to 'win' them over to 'our side'? It's stupid to believe that bisexuality CAN'T exist. Here we are getting told by some people that being gay is a choice, yet we deny the fact that someone can't be bisexual; that they obviously are denying the fact they are gay. That seems stupid.

So what if a gay guy was open about his sexuality from when he can remember, and he started exploring the female anatomy, and came to like women? Do we say he is straight? Or do we say he is gay? Well, if you say he's straight, why can't he be gay? I mean, he's been gay his whole life, right? And if you say he's gay, then why can't he be straight? He might not have experienced it before, and he might really be straight. Therein lies the contradiction. We can't come to a concrete conclusion, only the person can. Now we have to accept bisexuality, and believe it does exist. If you aren't bisexual, then you probably don't understand the feelings and experiences that come with it. Just like some straight people don't understand how we can be gay, why do some gay people turn around and ask how someone can be bisexual?

They just can. Just like you can be straight or gay, you can be bisexual too. :|

[bremen]

I consider myself as bisexual and I do feel quite offended by the statement: "Women on the other hand are more emotionally driven than men and can, I believe, be bisexual."
I am a man and I am driven by emotions rather than my dick.

And thus I do not see why I should consider myself as gay, as I am able to love men and women alike.

[Joe]

By your own definitions, if a guy has sex with a woman he is straight, and if he has sex with a guy he is gay, so if he has sex with both he is bi. You answered your own question.

Yes, guys can be and are bisexual. Why would you assume that guys who have some sex with other guys (but also have sex with woman) are just fooling themselves as they fuck their way to being gay?

Also, your grossly unfounded assumption that women are more emotional than men is either out of left field or your ass. Choose one.

[bisexualmale]

Put Ari Bendersky in the same lame journalistic camp as Michael Musto regarding bisexuality. Ari, you probably read Musto's article and wanted the same attention, as most gay men so desperately need. Oh, I'm sorry did I make a generalization? (Much like yours.) http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/archives/2009/04/ever_meet_a_rea.php
If not, you should read his comments page regarding his inflammatory "article".

Tell me Ari about these "gay men myths" and generalizations.
Are they really, really true as well?
*All Gay Men Will Die of AIDS
*Gay Men Are Only Concerned With Sex
*All Gay Men Are Feminine
*Someone Made Him Gay
*All Gay Men Want to Be A Woman
Thank you Ramon Johnson.
http://gaylife.about.com/b/2004/06/26/top-myths-about-gay-men.htm

Ari, was your being "gay" a choice?
Or were you born that way?
Whatever your answer, why cannot that be said for bisexuality?

Get yourself to a Bisexual conference, group or actually engage in consistent INTELLIGENT (if that's capable)conversations with bisexual men, pronto, before people begin to make blanket generalizations about gay men, you in particular.

Because it is easier for you to make blanket generalizations about "bisexuality" than it is for you to go to the people out there and search for the truth, isn't it?

Scared? Sissy?

Ari Bendersky is now synonymous with discrimination.

[Brady]

Oh dear... who didn't see this coming...

We got it, you guys, everyone has their own individual opinion, and this guy had his, and if you all were face to face, I'm sure he would gladly state his over yours and vice verse, but really? Calling him names? What are we, five?

Why is it that we have to resort to verbal violence when our opinion differs from another?

I, personally, don't date guys who identify themselves as "bisexual" because I refuse to be scrutinized on the same level as a woman, because there is a risk of the guy getting bored with me and leaving me (possibly for said woman). So far, I admit, that has happened with every Bi guy I've dated.

We don't have to date bisexual guys, we don't have to judge them, they can make their own opinion of themselves, and decide who and what they really want. I just can't stand the idea of me and him having a sensual conversation and the possibility of him saying or thinking about a woman while he's with me

[robdee]

Like everyone has perfect free choice. I was fooling around with a kid from the M.E., and after a little tryst his phone rang. As a joke, in the background I asked, "Are these your underwear?" He didn't thing it was funny. After his call he explained he was Muslim, and not only would his parents kill him if they knew he was gay, the would kill me too. I do not doubt he was in earnest.

[msuboi08]

I am very glad this article was written. Bisexual men are head cases who are scared to come out of the closet - FACT. In this day and age, there is no plausible excuse to hide who you really are, to the world (job, family, friends). I'm not saying that bi guys should burst out of the closet and go to pride parades, but they don't need to be secretive and "discreet" (their favorite word) and hide themselves. 99% of bisexual men are gay, but they continue to sleep with women (not very much though since they're always cheating on those same women with other men) because they want to lead a straight lifestyle, shielding them from the abuse they believe they will receive if they come out of the closet. Bisexuality=closeted=sad and afraid. Poor guys - where's my little violin?

[SenorSass]

WTF?! This is the most disgusting statement i think you could have made.
"For many gay men, the pursuit of landing a straight guy is tantamount to getting a great job, buying a Porsche or heading out on a two-month trip of Europe."

Is this even f'n true?!
Did you just liken potentially life altering sex with buying a car?
Did you just purpetuate the stereotype?
Did you just say "rape is okay"?
How much is many? Most? All? Tons? 3 dirty douche bags? How many please!?
Where are your sources?
Where are you getting your information?
What is the point of this poorly written, STUPID post?

[msuboi08]

Another thing...interesting how the self-proclaimed "bisexual" men on here have been so defensive. Because they know that Ari is right. Come on out of the closet guys! You know you like dick more than pussy. And you should be ashamed of yourselves if you are currently dating a woman, but secretly sleeping with men. tsk tsk

[greyhound1954]

I believe that almost everyone is bisexual. To what degree someone is bisexual may depend on their genetic wiring, how they were raised, and their current attitudes. So I believe that a teen boy can fool around with friends and then become a happily married family man with no interest in other men; I believe someone can have a gay sexual life and then renounce it ("ex-gay") for heterosexuality; I believe a boy can live a straight life well into his 20s and then suddenly exhibit an attractive to other men. I think all shades and behaviors of bisexuality are perfectly normal. Unfortunately, our society frowns upon this; even gay society wants you to make a choice, when no "choice" need be made. Perhaps, someday, our world will come closer to the philosophy of the old Stephen Stills song "Love the One You're With."

[r3gul8or]

I too am quite offended by the statement: "Women on the other hand are more emotionally driven than men and can, I believe, be bisexual."

What a crock of bullshit. First, you (as in a stereotypical gay man) cry foul if ANYONE ever discriminates you on the fact that you are gay or says that you are "gay by choice". Yet you think that it is 100% ok to discriminate and judge a person who says they are bi? Are you kidding me? Get a life.

I am 100% ok calling myself bi. Do I have sex with guys, yup. Do I have sex with girls, yup. The thought of eating pussy doesnt make me throw up, I actually enjoy it just as much as sucking another guys dick. And I can be emotionally driven with both men AND women. I realize this may be really hard for you, the author, to understand, but I am sure if you actually tried, you probably could.

And people wonder why most bi guys refuse to associate with the "gay scene" outside of websites like this one or manhunt. It's because of this bullshit.

People have always been afraid of things they don't understand themselves. So instead of trying or even admitting that this can be, they would rather say it doesn't exist and people are in "denial". Gee, why the fuck does that sound familiar?

[Brian]

Wow!!! Where do I begin? I don't want to repeat what has been said here over and over. I do, however, want to add my two cents. Bisexuality, in its purest form, is the ability for one sex to love the equal and opposite sex. That being said, I had a very hard time coming to grips with my sexuality. I identified as gay for 24 years. All that time, something never seemed quite right, or complete, or however you want to put it. Prior to that I had been in love with both. My first love was a man, in my teens. My second love was a woman, in my twenties. During that time, though, my sexual contact was limited to men. I thought that was the way it had to be. I was gay, after all. I began experimenting sexually with women and found that I did enjoy the feel, the scent, the taste of a woman (throw up at your leisure, Ari.) So, I had a second coming out. This became an even more confusing and trying time. There was no where, and I do mean no where, for me to turn to get my questions answered. And, of course, both sexual communities made me feel either unwelcome or told me that I was kidding myself, save for a few friends, but they didn't have the answers I seek. I could not understand, especially from the gay community, how one could tell me that bisexuality was wrong. I still have questions and still seek so many answers. Now, what it comes down to it is I do still prefer men. Be that because that's all I was ever experienced with or because I am on the gayer side of the gray, because thanks to Kinsey, we now know there are shades of all sexualities.

To dismiss bisexuals the way this article has demeans me as a human being, not just a bisexual. Who knew in this new millennium that the discriminated can be so discriminating.

I digress. The point of this soapbox is to say this and only this, love is love no matter what its form, no matter what its sex, no matter what its position. As with everything in life, just because you don't understand it, just because you don't believe it, does not make it less true or less real for someone else. When we start looking past labels and the superficial side of other human beings is when the world becomes tolerable, enjoyable, lovable.

[Brandon Sills]

you have written a derogatory statement against people who can handle both sides of the playing field, my friend. well done. and you probably offended lesbians too who might actually read such digital documentation of proof that you would vomit at the slightest syllable spoken of a vulgar version of vagina.

hope you enjoy the backfire you receive, for degrading a person who knows naturally by choice what they like, be it both sides or just one, you kind of actually deserve it, as the story does not have any sort of proof that indeed bisexuals are screwing their way from women to men or from men to women... they dig both sides, some more one side than the other, but still dabble in it.

you should have better columnists to write better stories that don't hurt a community like ours. someone who actually doesn't focus 100% on the extreme "gay" since that's what the stories seem to be about more often these days.

[Philip]

It just makes me so furious to have to deal with this from both the hetero community and the gay community.

I'm bisexual, because I like both men and women. END OF STORY!

I'm tired of people saying that I'm in denial, that I'm confused, or that I'm in 'transition'.

And it's sad to think that after everything that gay men have gone through to get acceptance, that they are now trying to belittle the feelings and positions of members of their own community.

[briyoung2]

I don't see it up here, but I wanted leave some contact info here and welcome any and all comments after people read my dissertation above. The posting is by Brian at 1:08pm.

[WIJG]

Of course bisexual guys exist! They might be rarer (either because of our culture, or maybe there is something in nature that makes it less likely), but they are real! Anyone who can form emotional, sexual connections with guys and girls is bi to some extent. Most guys just don't admit it. I understand how the author might think that the male bisexual is a myth, but all it takes is one example to prove that the species exists.

[Victor]

I'm sorry, this is insulting, and obnoxious. I have met plenty of guys who identify as gay who still occasionally like having sex with women, and guys who love the pussy, but have played around with guys occasionally. You can tell the one's who are in denial because of how their sort of dispassionate about the women who they try to make something work with. It's an obvious sign, but not everyone has it. Who are you to say someone else is in denial? Get out there and actually explore human sexuality a bit, read something written by Kinsey, make your opinion informed, or shut up and save the poor fools who are gullible enough to think you know what you're talking about.

[Tim]

I'm probably going to offend a few people by saying this, but I really don't care. It's an all-too-overlooked disheartening reality..

Bisexuality is DANGEROUS. Well, at least male bisexuals are...

Dan Savage says that "nominally bisexual men are not emotionally available to other men—in other words, these guys may have sex with other guys, but . . . they only have relationships with women. Which is why dating bi guys isn't something most gay men are willing to do. Even if the bi guy you're dating is single, you're still just his piece on the side." The heartless, malicious sex-fiends..

The most formidable horror here is the bisexual male (the deceptive cowards and merciless adulterers), namely: those who underhandedly parade around as strictly heterosexual in order to avoid anti-gay discrimination, terrorizing, bashing and attacks (bisexual guys befriend, pal-around and engage with homophobes and adopt their bigotry, while sexually dabbling in the Gay community- hypocrites!), like the vicious bisexual married men who cheat on their devoted, oblivious wives -- with equally oblivious and innocent Gay men (bisexuals ruin and destroy lives!). The poster-child and epitome of male-bisexuality and it's shocking, ugliest manifestation? Ted Haggard.

A large volume of people who cheat (have affairs), justify their adultery based on 'experimentation.' The 'bisexual' is behind that same dirty word: 'experimenting'. The vague connotations of that word are underhandedly utilized by the 'bisexuals' so they can continue to lie, cheat, break hearts and lead cruelly selfish dual lives without facing any consequences. They claim to be 'testing the waters to see whom they 'prefer', men or women, so we have no right to judge them.' Wrong! Bisexuals pave a particularly destructive path of turmoil, heartache, deception and pain by subsequently bouncing back and forth between men and women.

The bisexual's anti-gay campaign is not some established association or cause. It rears it's ugly head in the vile, underhanded, subtle homophobic ACTIONS of the misguided, duplicitous and vicious bisexual. The bisexual's double-crossing homophobic campaign is incremental and unevenly disseminated all across the Gay, Queer, Lesbian and Transgender (GQLT) Community. It's a slow, underlying social behavioral pattern of ferocious lying, cheating and homophobic double-crossing.

It is time to eradicate the homopho-B-ia in LGBT.

[php_guru]

I can't even give this article more than a laugh...definitely not a read. There is no question about it: bisexuality is real. I am, I know. Just because you don't experience it, doesn't make it any less of a thing.

I swear, they really dredged the shallows of Lake Hypocracy to find the majority of contributing writers here on gcom.

I'm tired of these types of gay people who cry so much about being allowed to be who they are and being treated fairly, yet, from pseudo-pedestals up high, they feel free to sling their shit at anyone within distance, including each other.

[Tim]

Oh btw- GREAT article!

[Ken]

if you're factoring the emotional versus non emotional, it seems like the situation should be reversed. women should only be straight or gay since their wired emotionally for one sex or the other, and all men should be omnisexual since they're beasts who just want to get off.

anyway, the writer is a clueless twit. if he said he didn't buy bisexuality in eithe sex, i would have taken him somewhat more seriously.

i live eating puss, i hate sucking cock, but i love having a guy suck me off.

[Tim]

@Ken.. see?! It's all about sex with you vicious bisexuals. Your insatiable carnal desires are satisfied with men... yet you long for emotional attachments with women, and ONLY women.

Internalized homophobia much?

[Tim]

Dear Ari Bendersky,

THANK YOU for this AMAZING and perceptive article. It's like you're reading my mind! And I know there are other people (gay and straight) who feel the same way!

Keep up the great work.

[John]

I have to agree with Brian. Our society at times is too focused on placing labels on everything, or compartmentalizing anything that doesn't fit neatly into our socieities definitions. My partner enjoys sex with me, a man. Yet he does not label himself as being gay because he detests the way in which gays at times represent themselves. Just because he likes sex with a man, does not mean he has to except the stereotype. For many gays, they allow the label to define who they are, and not just their sexuality. Corporate America has played right into this defining of an employee, by creating Diversity Fairs or "self identification" labels controled by their Human Resources departments. IBM, where I used to work, has been tracking the disposable income of gays and even has two full-time employees dedicated to marketing to the gay community. They also allow employees to self-identy by your sexuality in order to possibly utilize you in marketing to your sexual identification.

Having said that, I have a lot of friends who are bi. They enjoy screwing and eating pussy just as much as sucking cock and pounding male ass. They sometimes identify themselves on the sex sites as being bi, or they don't state being gay at all . . . they let the reader fill in the blank and think they are gay. To them, sex is sex and a hole is a hole . . . whatever it takes to get them off. I know that this leaves alot of gay men hopeful in trying to change bi men into lovers. However, most of my bi friends are not looking for a relationship and are happy playing on both teams. Bisexuality is just a fact of life that the gay population in general does not want to accept. Same goes for being Metrosexual. They figure if your a man using hair care products, moisturizer and getting a manicure, you have to be gay. Fact is I know a lot of straight guys in Corporate America which believe in dressing for success and maintaining their health and looks, and have no interest in being with another man.

There is an interesting phenomenon I have encountered among Hispanic and Middle Eastern men (I love both cultures). As long as you are not the receiver/bottom, you can have as much M2M sex as you want and not be labeled as gay by their culture. Would you consider them as being bisexual or gay? I for one am not into placing labels on other people. We all have our similarities and differences, desires and turn-ons, and no two people are alike.

[WTF]

@Tim:

You are the reason why bigotry exists in the world. Go back in the closet you sick fuck. Or better yet, have Focus on the Family harass you and try to tell you you being a fag is all in your demented immature moronic mind. You are no better than a white racist.

[rw]

while this article did offend me, as with many of you, it wasn't due to the subject matter at hand, but rather to the inane and obtuse approach by which the author based his assertions.

i am twenty-seven years old live in los angeles (which, as most all of you know is a Very active town for the gay community), and had Never considered myself as anything other than straight, until a few years ago. yet, here's the rub as i have come to learn and accept about myself over the most recent years of my life, moreso than i am attracted to an individual Gender over another, i am drawn to the gender Characteristics of which one embodies.

namely, as i alluded to earlier, i am an extremely masculine man (in the mold of a Rock Hudson, although not Nearly as wonderful a physical specimen as he...), and find myself irresistibly attracted to those of an Overly effeminate nature (ie. transgendered individuals (m2f)).

hence, whilst i may take part in activities which one may define as 'gay sex', i find myself unable to properly categorize myself fully as 'bi' for i am not physically aroused by other men of a masculine disposition in the least, as i am conversely attracted to those whom are extremely feminine in both looks and nature.

while i may be perfectly comfortable and enjoy the platonic company of all individuals, i am only turned on by those who have the personae of a woman, while not necessarily possessing the the physical nor genetic qualities of a true female.

so, without meaning to ramble much further, in my perspective there resides a further shade of gray within the gray, as it were. for while the stereotypical 'bi' individual, to my understanding (and as stated by Brian earlier), is one who is equally attracted to the (entire and idealized) qualities of both men and women equally, i find myself Solely attracted to the characteristics of the latter, while not be restricted by the limiting factors of one's genetic disposition...

according to the initial writer, if this is my being in utter denial and subconsciously am seeking another burly man as my partner, then so be it; but i would love to hear others opinion upon such a matter. not so much as to find a peace within myself, for i feel i have more than attained such an acceptance, but rather to hear others opinion upon such further aspects of bisexuality as those of a level beyond the restrictions of merely one's gender and moreso of one's characteristics and expressions...

[Tim]

Bisexuals are monstrous, vicious, treacherous, double-crossing, heartless sex fiends suffering from severe internalized homophobia. It really saddens me that they dress up their lies and hate with words like "sexual experimenting," "confused" and "sexual fluctuation." UGH. Give us a break.

[Tim]

@rw.. why not just be totally explicit with what you're getting at? You like having sex with men, but they could never be anything more than a "piece of ass" to you? You have no emotional attachment, except with women. You are a heartless, malicious sex-fiend.

[php_guru]

...in regard to some of the comments on here...

Bisexual men are not "dangerous" ... unsafe sex is. But thanks for the laugh...

And to those who don't date bi's because they're afraid the guy will go running to a woman, I say this: gay, bi or straight, if a person's gonna run, they're gonna run...it has nothing to do with their sexuality...it has only to do with that person's morals and character. (And anyway, would you feel better about it if he cheated on you with another guy...?...be real.) To those guys who've been left behind (for either sex), perhaps checking out a guys character might be more important than checking out his package in the first few meetings.

=\

[Calif Boy]

I'm bi and I have had sex with both women and men; I enjoy both. I enjoy cuddling with either a man or a woman. That's the definition of being bi. It has nothing to do with being "confused" or that I really "don't know my sexuality".

What it does have to deal with is that I'm attracted to both sexes... hence the term "BI-sexual". So, no us bisexual men are not fooling ourselves.

For instance, if a person likes the forest and the ocean equally alike, we don't tell that person that they need to choose, right? Or if one person likes Disneyland and Six Flags equally the same, we don't think that they can't like both equally and they have to choose between the two, do we?

So, we all, gay, straight, bi, black, white, tall, thin, etc. etc. etc. can like things equally the same as another thing.

I happen to like men and women equally... their anatomy and companionship. But this is just me personally.

[Tim]

"..it has only to do with that person's morals and character."

php_guru, that's not always the case. The malicious bisexuals claim to be "torn" between men and women. They like to "play both teams" as someone commented earlier. Do you not see how underhanded, duplicitous and unnerving that is?

And on top of that, being rejected, abandoned and dumped for the OPPOSITE gender makes it all the more crushing, baffling and shocking for the Gay guy.

Bisexuals ARE dangerous. I avoid 'em like the plague.

[Scott E.]

This article is mediocre indeed. It sounds pretty much like NOM arguing that marriage should be between a man and woman. There's no credible evidence involved at all. What a croc of bullshit. Delete this thing now. If you deny the existence of bisexuality, you're just as bad as the homophobes.

If you dated someone bi, broke up with them, and they started dating a woman, that does not mean they were using you for sex. Bisexual men are no more less capable of loving another than gays (Same for women as well). Why do people always bring up the sexually promiscuous excuse? It was used by the oppressors of the GLBTQ community for the past century.

[Tim]

Scott E., it's a negative behavioral social pattern exhibited by the vicious bisexuals.. they are heartless, double-crossing sex fiends.

[Tim]

Real stories. Real experiences. Real people.

Sharing the truth: bisexuals ruin lives.

Save Our Community

[r3gul8or]

tim - I think you have some issues buddy. Your rants are exact copies of those who have been scorned by a specific person for one reason or another.

You may really believe what you are saying, but to me, it just sounds like you were really hurt by another who was bi and thus decided to lash out on the community as a whole because you are not mature enough to come to the realizations of your own insecurity with the prior relationship. Or maybe you just need some midol and a apple-tini. Either way, you kind of a basket case man and that's not healthy.

I think the only thing that is dangerous, is your thinking. Ever seen Fatal Attraction. You are SOOOO that girl that cooked the bunny. Only diff is, I'm sure she was more attractive.

[php_guru]

Tim: There are just as many "malicious" gays (and straights for that matter) out there. I know you're not saying that gay men are faithful as a rule -- RIGHT!?

I am going to take a stab here and guess you fell victim to one who was bisexual. If so, sorry for that... not sorry because you fell in love with a bi guy, but because you fell in love with a heartless d-bag. Just speculation, but that's my thought. I can tell you that when someone leaves another person, it's going to feel shitty shitty shitty regardless of what gender the new person is.

[Tim]

We've set up an online crusade called Save Our Community (a little underground). We're out to expose the bisexuals underhanded malicious agenda and to educate GQLT citizens about the dangers and terrors of the bisexual. It's been too long since we've addressed this issue...

@r3gul80r, thanks for assuming away, when you really have no idea. LOL. And btw- yes, Glenn Close IS prettier than me. Mwah! Xoxo.

php_guru.. you missed my point yet again. Gay male youth are at risk of having their lives, security and hearts annihilated by the malicious male bisexual who wants to use them for sex.. then dump them and bounce off to women for emotional/sexual security 24/7.

It's an old trick, bisexuals have been using throughout the ages..

[Tim]

Being dumped by someone you think is gay for the OPPOSITE gender, makes it all the more particularly crushing, baffling and shocking for the honest Gay guy being abandoned.

Bisexual cheating is considerably more treacherous, terrifying and disheartening. :(

[Mike The LA Bi GUy]

Bi Men don't exist? I came out as gay and hid in the bi closet for years, and then wrote "THE BISEXUAL'S GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE" some of your readers' comments will get a kick out of these stats, and my column on Examiner...

http://www.examiner.com/x-3366-Bisexuality-Examiner

[php_guru]

Tim: you disagree with my statement that "(in regard to unfaithfulness)..it has only to do with that person's morals and character."

I agree to disagree. People of strong morals and character simply don't cheat. If they cheat, then quite obviously, they weren't the person they were pretending to be. People have tried to tempt me in many ways during my LTRs - with both guys and girls -- and I've scoffed at all offers, because I was "raised better than that".