Op-Ed Can Guys Actually Be Bisexual?

There's a joke that's been floating around for a while. Questions: What's the difference between a gay guy and a straight guy? Answer: about a six pack. For many gay men, landing a straight guy is tantamount to getting a great job, buying a Porsche or heading out on a two-month trip of Europe. It's a goal a lot of gay men set for themselves, but one that they rarely achieve. When they do, questions arise: Is the guy really straight? Is he bisexual? these questions usualy beg a final question: Is it really possible for a guy to be bisexual? There are a lot of opinions about this, but when you ask gay men, the answer is often "No."

In our culture, if a guy has oral or anal intercourse with another guy, most would say that he's gay, because, for many of us, "being gay" describes a man who has sex with other men.

Sure, we can say that many other things go into being gay, but sexual activity is what many of us believe what makes up the person who is gay. A man could be into leather and Levi's; he could really like theater; he could really be into fashion. These interests don't necessarily make a man gay, though. But when this man has sex with other men, there's really no denying what camp he falls into.

So what do we make of these guys who define themselves as "bi"? Are they really fooling themselves as they screw their way down the path to gayhood, or do they really enjoy having sex with women? I realize that some people are just sexually charged and will take it wherever they can get it. But I say that if you're a guy having sex with another guy, chances are there's a part of you that's in denial, and only time will tell when you finally come around to the realization that, yup, you're gay.

A lot of guys are all about animal instinct. We get it when we can. We need to drop our seed and move on to the next guy. OK, OK -- I just heard a collective scream from all of you who believe in the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. Of course emotions play a role in gay male relationships, and there's no question that men can commit to each other. But think about how many gay couples you know who play around, either together or separately. Why? Because gay men like to screw.

And we like to watch people screwing. How many porn stars are "gay for pay"? These hot, buff, sexy guys who start out doing solo scenes, and then they let some guy have oral sex with them, and next thing you know they're a Falcon exclusive bottoming for everyone. But then you hear they have wives or girlfriends away from the cameras who are very understanding and supportive. Or are they just stupid? Are these guys really doing it for the money and fame and glory? My opinion is that they're not bi. They're not straight. They're gay and they're fooling themselves. Or they're fooling us. But do we care? As long as they bring the six pack, we're usually pretty OK with it.

(Image courtesy of Getty)

Comments

[denise]

I have been reading your blogs and I am a woman whom was with a bisexual man for 6 yrs and he never told me. I had to find out the hard way. Let me tell you it is heartwrenching to have Loved and given your all to a man that could never Love me it devasted my world. Why would a bi man keep this from a woman it is not fair. I don't have a problem with what ever people want to do. But atleast be honest to the person you are with. I felt like i was sleeping with a loaded gun in my bed. I can not tell you the pain i have been through and now he has moved in with another girl after only week of our horrible breakup. I don't understand why he needs to devastate another woman because it will come out again. If your bi just stay single and do not get someone emotional involved.You are playing with someones life that is inisisnt and has no clue what there into and waste years of your life with someone that is going no where. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME

[Martin Brant]

Bisexuality and lifelong bisexual males have been around since the beginning of time. I consider bisexuality life's greatest gift and actually pity those who can't recognize the beauty, both emotionally and physically, of an intimate relationships with both sexes.

Martin Brant
enlightenedmale2000.com

[Horneybiteen]

I am 18, I love fucking, with either gender. I love girls, i get rock hard when is e a hot girl i just want to fuck her.. i love MILF also i like to experiment with men smell sweat and with both genders i like rough sex as well as romantic genital sex. I say im straight to the majority of people because I don't want to be label gay, I am normal although i am creative in many ways but i am very kinky. im primarily straight but I feel i getfrom men a rawness which i transfer to women.

[Someonewithabrain]

Ugh. Everybody, please refer to the biologist study where they examined men's brains and found that gay men and straight men have differently shaped brains.

I thought bisexual males existed once, but after finding out about that study, I changed my mind. There is no "bisexual brain" in bisexual men. You're either lying or you're trying to fool yourself.

Either way, it isn't working.

Your logic is also remarkably similar to fundamentalist christians' logic who use the bible as proof of their god. Just because you feel it, it doesn't mean it's true.

Also, look up the study that showed that "bisexual" men did not respond to both gay and lesbian porn.

(To everybody who thinks bisexual men aren't for real: don't bother. It's like an atheist trying to enlighten a christian. IT WILL NOT WORK. These people are hard-headed and LOOK FOR FACTS to support their conclusion, WHILE WE form conclusions AFTER we have the facts.)

[Someonewithabrain]

Also, we ARE NOT ANIMALS.

FEELINGS ARE NOT EVIDENCE.

And answer me this: why were all shemales once bisexual men?

I'd also finally like to say: bisexuality is just a fetish.

A man can NOT prove he's bisexual. This has already been established. But like those hard-headed FUNDAMENTALISTS, IT WILL NOT SINK INTO THEIR MINDS.

And Kinsey's research is null and void because he is bisexual, and therefore his argument is biased. End of discussion.

[serg]

well let's stop being pilitically correct and say what we really think
i'm not 100 % sure bisexuality does not exist....but i tend to think it doesn't...i've dated a lot of men who claimed they were bi...and none of them gave me an accurate explanation of what its like to be bi usually they dodge the uncomfartable quastions and can't answer to my arguments thus diverting the subject to something else....
let's not forget that sexuality is not about love but about sex...at least for men....i do belive that deep down inside a person is sexually attracted to one sex....while i agree that some men indeed may have sex with both men and women but they enjoy sex with men more....
all of the bi guys i dated said that in thier erotic dreams they see men not women....
and all of them would rather suck a dick then lick a pussy....
one of them told me when i akes what is it about a female body that gets you hard told me that it's the knoledge of me screwing her with my dick.....
and none of them gave an answer to my quastion of who do they see themselves in love with....
how can you not know who you wanna be in love with what is it like today i imagine myself in bed with a girl tommorow with a guy?
i'm not trying to deny the fact that bisexuality might actually exixt but it seems very unlikly to me