Does Perez Hilton Represent You?

In recent months, Perez Hilton has gone from gossip to gay rights crusader, and not everyone in the LGBT community wants him fighting for our rights.

I, for one, feel like he does us more harm than good. Case in point: After Miss California Carrie Prejean told him that marriage should be between a man and a woman, he went on the attack, expressing himself in less than eloquent fashion when he labeled her a "dumb bitch."

While I can understand his temptation to lash out at the beauty queen, Perez, as the self-proclaimed Queen of All Media, is in a powerful position in that he has the media spotlight shining right on him, and he would have better served the cause by explaining why Miss California's stance on gay marriage is wrong.

I'm not saying Perez had to morph into a boring political wonk to make his point. He is an entertainer, after all. But he could have presented a real argument against the thinking behind Miss California's response, using wit and even humor. There's nothing wrong with being clever.

But who is going to take the guy seriously after he attacks his philosophical foe by calling her a nasty name? It was a classless move, and it was, well, dumb. If anything, I thought that Miss California came out of this situation looking like the winner despite the fact that I disagree with her opposition to gay marriage.

In turn, Perez came out of this situation looking like all he really wanted to do was draw attention to himself. Does anyone really believe that he genuinely wants to make the world a better place for all of gaykind?

I may be naïve, and I know that people are going to lash out at me for this, but I do believe that deep down inside Perez, as a gay man, does care about gay rights.

But his quest for celebrity is getting in the way of him being an effective lobbyist, and his tactics (I knew he would inevitably deface Miss California's photo with one of his penis scribbles) are turning off the very people we are trying to win over. I worry that he might even cause a backlash when it comes to issues like gay marriage.

Surely, you have something to say on the topic. Do you think Perez is hurting the gay community in our fight for gay marriage and other rights with his rude and crude approach?

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(Image courtesy of Getty)

Comments

[makinUdrool]

Perez is the LAST person I want seen as a representation of the gay community. He is the epitome of every bad gay stereotype there is. I will agree that maybe deep down inside he is wanting equal rights for gays, but his desire to be the center of attention overshadows everything else. My advice to Perez, GROW THE FUCK UP. I may not agree with Ms. California, but at least she has class.

[Trueblue]

No, I would NOT want Perez Hilton fighting for my rights or representing me. That being said, it's sad how few other gay celebrities actually do. Personally, I always felt gay men and women should be more politically active.

You get to contribute to what you believe in, meet new people, learn important things, and if you're good enough you can make a difference. If we ever win the fight on gay marriage or adoption or equal rights, I would love to tell my family it was partially because I helped fight for those rights.

[super8]

What I thought was funny was his reasoning why he was a judge and Miss California's grandmother wasn't. As you state, it was less than eloquent. It reminded me of typical gay.com chat room banter but in this case, it was in the main stream media. He really did harm to the whole cause. He did exactly what you don't want to do is give the other side ammunition.

[Me]

Who is he?

[Brandon Sills]

that photo makes him look like chris crocker's dad. if he's so prideful about protecting the LGBT community, maybe he could learn one of those valuable lessons in life we all learn one day or another... like shutting the fuck up.

[Astro]

I've never been a huge Perez Hilton fan. Anyone who pretty makes their living off the downfall and misery of others, I don't have a ton of respect for.

I don't agree with Miss California at all, but she gave her answer. There were more constructive and adult ways for him to express his anger and outrage, instead of having a hissy fit on MSNBC and his blog. He was pretty down to earth and articulate on Larry King Live...too bad he couldnt carry that through the whole debate. He just looses credibility

[Brian]

Perez Hilton does not represent me in any way, shape, or form. If he would stop focusing on being the center of attention for a few seconds, he would realize that his actions and his blog do nothing more than harm himself and our community.

[Charlie]

By allowing Miss California her right to her opionion gives the LGBT
the very rights we are seeking~ Not everyone has to agree~That was her opinion and coming back like Perez did takes us back 10 steps after we got 3 forward.
I to have never like someone making a sucess of someone elses heartbreaks or downs.
I think Perez comes across as nasty and bitter and he is proving the conceptions that alot of Straight people have of the gay community. WHICH IS NOT what the gay community is.I for one DO NOT want him to represent me~
Charlie

[jon]

I think he is immature. According to his philosophy, anyone who doesn't agree with him is dumb. Kinda hypocritical as well if u are going around preaching tolerance towards the homosexual community, yet you don't have tolerance for those who disagree. Miss California doesn't seem to be the violent hater type. She just disagrees and she has the right to!

[jarrod]

it's terrible that we have to think we need to scorn a guy who is hurt by what bigoted, ignorant people say about us.

he should be able to say what he wants. It's not him we need to worry about, it's the reaction of the bigots.

The bigots just want us to shut up and not exist. It is a war of sorts.

i really dont like perez. but he is not the problem here. it is ignorant america and we shouldnt be made to feel we cant speak our outrage.

[Joshua Van Cruise]

At least Perez is doing something about the issue. Are you?

You go Perez!

[Bob]

he's a low class publicity hound and
an embarrassment to us all. he's about as useless as Ross on the Leno
show. UGH.

[mn690]

He's a dreadful human being, he only represents other dreadful human beings.

[Shawn]

Why is this fat pig Perez Hilton even anyone? Because he has a name that is like Paris Hilton? What makes this creap so special. If some ugly pig like that walked into any gay bar you'd think he'd not even be payed attention to. Why is he so important?

[Jayden]

Perez Hilton is a complete and utter joke in the entertainment and gay community. Anyone who would change his name to Hilton and has built his total career on creating and spreading gossip about others is certainly no one I want to be considered a representative for the very proud gay community I'm a member of. I for the life of me can't understand how he has been allowed to become anyone with anything important to say in the entertainment industry. Someone needs to simply shut him and his website down and send him off to a place where we will never be subjected to his loud mouth gossip ever again.

[Hector]

I don't understand how his question, which was as legitimate as some of the other socio-political questions asked, somehow hurts us. He asked a valid question, and the bimbo answered it. Now, to be fair, I applaud that she was willing to answer honestly rather than be a phony or completely dodge the question like many of the others, but her assertion that she lost because of the question seems like she is just so sure that she would have one otherwise that I have to laugh at her arrogance.

As for his further fight with her, she continues to assert that he cost her the crown. It wasn't his question that cost her the crown, the crown was never hers.

What exactly do we mean when we tell a gay celebrity they must tow some kind of politically correct line or they ruin our cause? Do we mean that in order to achieve our goals we will sacrifice our own community's diversity? That the voice of a Perez Hilton is less worthy of being heard than that of a... wait, most of us out here don't know any of the more PC "leaders" in our community.

So, if it is a choice between someone willing to speak out and maybe be ridiculed publicly and someone who throws charity dinners for the cause, I have to go with the loud mouth. But I don't belittle the others, just try to remember that they, no, we all have a part to play.

[Andrew]

I don't understand why Perez Hilton is even famous. It shows how badly our priorities are as a society when someone becomes famous for a job on talking crap about others. This guy is not only an embarassment to the gay community, he's an embarassment to America as a whole.

I might not agree with Miss California's views on same-sex marriage, but I'm not going to go out and call her all sorts of nasty names because of it. Hey Perez, if you do not want to hear the answer, do not ask her the question!

[Daniel]

I don't know anything about Perez Hilton but I'm sure he is an individual who should have the right to react and behave as he chooses. Yes, its frustrating when we feel members of our community are representing us badly to the hostile world but so be it. Those who are looking for a reason to dislike us will find a reason believe me. I have seen such harsh criticism of the gay community in posts recently like we are all shallow, insensitive, horney creeps. Their are all types that make up a people and not just focus on the bad elements all the time.

The two question survey did not give any alternatives for those of us who don't agree with either of the two choices. That was real cute.

[Woody]

Seriously.....How relevant is this guy?
The only thing I know of him is that he's a gossip columnist. What makes him think he is so damn important?

[Drew]

This is an email I sent to the address on his blog... no response to date.

"Perez...

The recent events surrounding your Q&A of Miss CA is setting up a backlash for the gay community and our recent efforts to make our lifestyles more acceptable and mainstream. The media frenzy you are building against Miss CA, lacks respect and I fear that it will not only hurt you but also our efforts relative to gay marriage.

I respectfully request that you take a deep breath; do an ego check, and truly think about what [negative] impact your recent comments may have on the gay community.

I applaud your passion - but every once in a while as individuals we need to step back, look at ourselves objectively and see if we make mistakes.

You had absolutely every right to ask Miss CA that question. and she had every right to answer it as she desired. Crucifying her for her comments makes you look bad and makes gay people look bad. Regardless of your sexuality, your comments have been cruel and disrespectful - and people respond to cruelty with great passion. Her reply was off the top of her head [obviously] and may have been in complete opposition to your opinions [my opinions]. However, her comments were not made with malice or cruelty. Your reactions/comments were.

You, more than anyone, should know how the actions or comments of a person of fame can negatively impact their perception and career - examples being Tom Cruise [couch jumping and Scientology], Mel Gibson [alcoholic, homophobic rants and conservative Catholicism]... just to name a few.

Do you really want to add to that list Miss CA [personal opinion on a Question in the Miss USA Pageant, damaging her career and the Miss USA Pageant overall] AND Perez Hilton [hurtful/hateful reaction to an Answer on gay marriage at the Miss USA Pageant, hurting your career, motives and damaging the perception of gay people as heterophobic and vindictive]?

As I stated, take a deep breath - or a few deep breathes - and step back and rethink this.

Honestly, between your blog, book, recent appearances - and now nasty comments - you are poised for the ever-feared over-promotion/over-exposed. Your reaction to Miss CA's answer to your question may now cast you in a negative light - amongst gays like me and others - pushing you into the realm of over-exposure that will result in your career taking a dive. As I said, people like nice people. Being bitchy and campy is a fine line that people may think you've now crossed.

Here is the spin that I would put on this whole event...

From now through Thursday...

Refrain from comments on your blog or talk-show appearances where you negatively comment against Miss USA [you may well be 12 minutes into your 15 minutes of fame so no need for overkill on this].
Contact Miss CA's camp - and as you previously stated - meet her for coffee where you can both discuss your opinions [very civil and modern of you both!] on this issue.
Have a photo op where you are both smiling and arms around each other with mutual statements that neither of you wanted to offend the other and that - as this is America - you both "agree to disagree" and that is what makes this country great. [Remember: she has publicly commented on her sister's support of gay rights and how great America is because we allow freedom of speech and opinions - making her look better]
Place the photos and comments on your blog - AND apologize on your blog for your nasty comments, stating that you learned a lot from this experience on how important it is for a dialogue between people of different opinions. True leadership shows that people of all opinions can live and thrive side by side - as will be shown in your photo with Miss CA with both of your with arms around each other.

THIS will make you look like a much better person - nicer person - and perhaps prevent negative over-exposure and your career from taking a negative turn. You DO NOT want to turn into the gay cliche - "jaded and bitter".

Perez - I've no idea if this email will reach your eyes - but please know that it is not my intent to be mean to you. As I said, I know you come from a place of passion on this subject and hope to be instrumental of helping change American's views on this subject. But please remember that with that thought, one must be void of ego and do/say what is best for gays overall... On this subject dig deep into your heart and do what is best for gay people/gay marriage - not what is best for Perez.

I wouldn't have sent this email if I didn't care that this may negatively impact you. I think you've made a change on how America views gay people and are part of an overall movement where being gay is becoming viewed less as a pariah [though God knows there are those who feel different out there]. By being mindful of your comments and thoughts - and how they are perceived and may negatively impact the gay community - you can continue to have a positive role in social change and acceptance.

You have already started doing that by including education on social issues and non-profit organizations/'causes that need our help. You already have begun to move into that positive direction of social awareness and change. It would be awesome to know that you are self-aware enough to see the brilliance of moving in that direction, going from the "Queen of Gossip" to the "Voice of Social Change for Young America".

Take the high road - lead with a smile and not only passion... but compassion.

Best regards...

[Bobby]

He is a prime example of why I don't fully come "out"... I'm not embarrassed by my sexual orientation... I simply don't want to be mistakenly associated with gays like him. He and others like him disgust me and feel they are hurting our cause.

[Jayson]

why everybody defending miss California like she is GOD! she just need to wake up 'coz she doesnt represent the state of California, so why u guys feel sorry for her, because she lost. Interviewed by media saying being is gay is choice, so u guys better not support that dumb bitch. because she is lashing out to the media saying homosexuality can be cured. please can she be any dumber! Where does she get the info about gay people.

[oldkingtroll]

Perez Hilton might not represent me; but he sure as hell fights for me and my rights. For THAT, I am grateful.

Let's go back to the 1960s and re-ask the question: are you comfortable having the Stonewall drag queens rioting and representing you? I am sure that everyone here -- with his hyper-rationality -- would say no. But matter of fact is, the drag queens, as ugly, fat and bitchy as they were did more for gay rights than the overly rationale, closeted gay men who hid while visiting the clubs where they performed.

Fast forward to now: Yep, same response from same group of non-participatory guys who think there is a proper way to fight for one's rights.

I may not be totally comfortable with Perez; but my hat is off to him.

You go, gurl!!!

[Laun]

If you stand up for a group be very careful how you word your statements, some may not necessarily apply to everyone in all occasions. Unless you know the background, underlying circumstances behind what's going on and not listen to gossip, lies, rumours and bad representation of others you should not comment or presume your stand covers everyone the same way. Unless you have the whole picture. Mislables can leave people out the wrong way and not be fairly represented. Some situations do not apply to all families or families with gay members. Be careful you may hurt others with unfair bias or misunderstandings.

[msuboi08]

True, Perez Hilton *at times* can embody various gay stereotypes. However, what is more disturbing to me than Perez Hilton's bitchiness (which is what he is famous for and does not surprise me in the least that he called Ms. California a "dumb bitch") is the heat he gets for being so "gay." What is wrong with being a super-flamy gay guy? That question is for the closeted and bisexual men on this site. What bothers me more than Perez Hilton's comments, are the hateful and embarrassing remarks from guys who claim they fear they would be associated with him if they came out. That's total bullshit. There are masculine gay guys, guys in between who are masc AND effeminate, and then there are the super flamy gay guys. TO ALL CLOSET CASES AND BISEXUAL MEN - don't hate on the gays because they at least have the balls to come out of the closet and repel attacks against them, which come from straight people, and hypocrites like yourselves.

[msuboi08]

it's called "internalized homophobia." Look it up closets and bis. If you are truly not ashamed of your sexuality (being gay), then you should have no reason to fear being associated with an out and proud man like Perez Hilton.

[Jim]

What if the question had been..... 5 states have now passed a law that allows blacks and white to marry... how do you feel about that? If her answer had bacially been the same, that her religious beliefs were that marriage was between to people of the same race, it wouldn't have taken a gay man to speak out about the outrage. The Nation would have been outraged. Perez lost all creditablity when he lashed out like a girl in a cat fight and called her a bitch. It's a sterotype the community has been fighting for years. How much more affective would he have been if he had just posted the next day, "what do you think of Miss California's beliefs?"...well, in California I think the populace has already spoken on that issue..... Today, we learn that the church she attends thinks all gays are pedophites.... If Miss USA wins the Miss Universes then Miss California becomes Miss USA. Should we be outraged? Does ACT-UP really work? Should we be silent? Are we too passive? Do we want someone else to work for out rights? Who knows.....

[Derrick]

I believe he once stated, (and correct me if its hear-say) that he felt it was his duty to seek out and out gay celebrities. I'm sorry, being a gay male, you must understand the deeply emotional experience that coming out is... so by forcing this event on others... your representing and supporting your gay community?

The way he carries himself makes me ashamed to be gay. Yes I said it, when someone with such a place in the spotlight acts the way he did, it puts us all in a bad light.

We are fighting, with understanding, and civilized actions.

Fail Perez....fail...

[John]

Hurting us? I already liked being low key about my lifestyle. He s a degenerate. I dont even want to refer to myself as gay when I am put into same category with people like her.

The beauty queen wasnt acting like an ass or anything. She was just giving her honest opinion. It wasnt done with hate. Just the way she feels. But leave it to a freakezoid to bring us down a few more notches in public opinion.

[Kirk]

Perez "hilton" will get what is coming to him. Karma is a bitch. He is so rude to people on his blog and outing others. Who the fuck is he?

That Flamming faggot is making us look bad. Ms Cali did have a bad response and I do not by all means agree with what she said. But how come "Perez" is the one to throw flaming insults.

Karma will get him and that flaming homo will get whats coming to him. There is no reason to be rude or disrepectful to anyone, even if they are a celebrity.

Perez grow the fuck up, you're an idiot, and all you are gossiping about is PROJECTION.

You make the gay community look bad. Shame on you!

[JR]

Let the Queen speak his mind. Yes, just because he said something vivid and racy (no doubt true if it was a more polished phrase) doesn't mean he "represents" any of us, it means he has the balls to be angry about ignorance. And yes, that is how Stonewall started. Look it up, bros!

[Scott]

Perez Hilton is the very epitome of the stereotype that the GLBT community is fighting so hard to over come. How can we expect the general population to accept us or treat us as equals, when some over the top, quasi-drag queenish "blogger" can't even gain respect within his own community.

[zarxo]

What better person to represent you than a sexless gay man at 38 who still gets addresses dropped to him by straight women with a telephone and directions to their house--and these are total strangers.

To be gay is not just closeted and not closeted. And it may not even be a Christian, but its people who have personalities, who have pasts, who have enemies, but still in their small simple way love humanity.

I question either political party when what they do does not benefit humanity. We are still jobless and face more job cuts--and the blacks are even more poor now! So, when will the people speak up and say "hell no, you both go!"

We have GOP swtiching sides---you now why don't you? They are about to loose their job!

It's time to limit the terms and even the terms of our president to one term. If Americans cannot be given loyal jobs then why should the politicians!

Long life federal jobs must go, all Americans should have a "blow" at those jobs, from federal attorneys to federal doctors--YOUR TIME ON RIDING ON THE SYSTEM makes you no less worse than three removed generations on the welfare system. Got a good thing don't ya?

Life-long parties must go!

[GenghisK]

If an African American judge had said the exact same thing about a contestant who had stumbled over her words trying to express her belief that blacks should be kept separate-but-equal, we wouldn't be wasting time discussing this.

[Daniel]

To all the guys who said "Perez makes me ashamed to be gay" GROW UP!

First of all you are being over the top dramatic (dare I say drama queen). If people are so dumb that they think one gay personality represents all the facets of gay personality then they are down right stupid. If you think that one gay guy who expresses himself in a manner that you would not reflects on you then you are downright stupid. Not meaning to be mean but the "it makes me feel ashamed to be gay" comment is so silly.

[Jesse]

Perez Hilton is awful in general. He's got an annoying voice, he make my eye bleed everytime i see his ugly pig-face and he is the most annoying and useless person in hollywood, he gossips for a living...WTF? Having him represent our community is one of the worst things that is happening to us now!

[DOG]

I personally find him repugnent. I don't know anyone who likes him either. However, he has the courage to be out. Most gay celebrates chose the closet and sham marriages. While that is unfortunate, it is not without justifiable fears.

So here is a more relevant question: How come someone who is more articulate and not so ego driven in the gay/lesbian/Bi/trans/questioning community does not step forward? And how come we rip apart anyone who dares to become well known in our community? I think I just answered my own question.

[dbrel]

I had a friend in that pageant, and according to her, Miss CA was kind, humorous, intelligent, and generally a really nice girl. Her answer to the question stated what SHE had been brought up to believe and feel, and had developed her entire life. A few years of college will not change that kind of thought process. She would have to be exposed to and surrounded by gay people to even begin to understand the cause. While the question asked was not bad, in fact I thought it should come up, Perez's actions since that have been deplorable. I can guarantee that if Miss CA were coming after him and calling him a queen that the uproar would have been huge from the gay community, so why can't WE produce the same uproar for his lame attempt to bring down what appears to be a really good person? Good people can have simple beliefs ya know? Stop Perez now before he makes us look any worse...

[Jay]

I don't like Perez Hilton AT ALL. He's kinda or alot nasty. BUT!!! I'm not gonna take him down for calling a dumb bitch exactly what she is; a 'dumb bitch'. Theres enough BS going on in California bout equality. Silent Protesting & showing manners got the community no where!!! So call them out! A dumb bitch is a dumb bitch! Why sugar coat it?

[Jon R]

I don't think he makes a great representative for well anything. He is tooooooo much of a stereo type. Let Miss California believe in one man and one women, its her god given right.

[Carlos G.]

He represents himself. Since when has he ever been a spokes-person for the gay community? If you want to make a difference stop judging other people, stop judging each other, and attempt to create change with our own actions. We are a diverse community and we cannot have ONE person represent ALL of us. So go out and make a difference instead of arguing the way one person of our community decided to exercise their first amendment right.

[Andy]

Although I do believe Miss California has been as much of a publicity whore as Perez after the incident occurred, I don't believe she deserves to be attacked for giving what she felt was an honest answer to the question. You can agree or disagree with her vehemently but the hatred behind Perez's attacks is not doing anyone any good.

[Jason]

This situation has been totally blown out of proportion! Perez Hilton is the very epitome of how the general population of gay men and women DO NOT want to be perceived. We are normal, everyday men and women who work, pay bills and die just like anyone else! The majority of us make every attempt to avoid drama and confrontation so that we may live our lives in peace. Yes, I am gay. Yes, I am proud of who I am. But it does make me ashamed when someone in the gay community acts in such a manner as Perez Hilton. We are all entitled to our own opinions; Miss California was just expressing hers. There was nothing wrong with her statement. Just because you dont agree with her views doesnt mean that you shouldnt respect them. If the roles were reversed, you would expect nothing less from others. It's time to put this controversy to rest. He's an idiot...plain and simple.

[G duke]

Perez Hilton is an embarrassment. What an elitist jerk.

[Caleb]

He's gotta keep his career somehow. Not much else going for him.

[corrective_unconscious]

He did everything right except that only men should be called, "bitch."

Call her a "dumb prick" and we're golden.

[Rndmacts]

What, are gay people just as stupid as Miss California. He didn't attack her for the content of her answer but how it was given and that she did not answer the question posed to her. He was not the only judge that thought she totally blew that part of the competition. While she may be crying that she lost because of that question, from other judges statements, she had already lost the crown. So the ultimate product of California plastic surgeons would become Miss America, who cares.

I don't like Perez Hilton and for one reason only, what gives him the right to out somebody who is living their life quietly and as they want to live it, because he thinks its the right thing. He is a sleaze bag and as bad to the gay community as all the paperazzi in Hollywood. But in this one occurance I think he did us proud by giving coherent answers to the questions asked, he wasn't a raving queen but a person who was being personally hurt and denied rights by the ignorance of the religous right. As a full time spokesman, I want him back in his box as soon as possible, but in this one case he did us no harm and I think he may awoke a few people up by demonstrating the harm that their bigotry is doing.

If you want to continue eating our own, then lets get to it, lets go after Ellen for not doing enough, oh yes lets go after Neil Patrick Harris, America loves him but he is too quiet on the issues. Ellen I can't stand, she is useless unless its for her, so attacking her and her hypocracy is right, she stood quietly aside for five years and said nothing because she was worried it would hurt her show. Now Neil Patrick who I have met and greatly respect doesn't make a big thing about his marriage in Canada, only that he has a happy home life with his partner and this is what people should take away about the marriage question. We don't want to shove it in your face, she just want the right to marry the person we love. Isn't that what Perez said.

[corrective_unconscious]

>"He is a prime example of why I don't fully come "out"... I'm not embarrassed by my sexual orientation... I simply don't want to be mistakenly associated with gays like him."

Do str8 people hide their orientation to avoid any mistaken association with Jerry Springer?

Not embarrassed by your orientation...whatever you have to tell yourself....

[texcowboy81]

he asked she answered how she felt thats all that matters & hes a disgracefull person !!!! yuck get him out maybe a real cowboy would be better & polite & help make it all better! like me!

[Bobby]

He was paid to judge a pageant and instead he imposed his view of question he asked himself. Listen Perez she is just as intitle to her opinion as you are. Thats what is wrong with this, "I want this", "I want that", and "Its not fair" attitude that our community seems to think we are intitled to impose on others who do not share our same opinion. I personally would throw Perez under the bus with a lot of other gays who think we have some kind of entitlement to things just because we are gay. I believe we should share the same rights as all Americans but I do not think we should get special rights. It makes me ashamed to be gay which is exactly what I was suppose to not be feeling. Its amazes me how we scream bloody hell for our rights then we act as if we do not have to be responsible for our rights when we get them. Mark my words when we finally achieve full marital rights there will be those who will scream about having to pay palimony or child support in the event of a divorce. Its really disgusting that we want some rights but some right we do not want. Its the whole cow or nothing. And one more thing whose bright idea was it to ask him to judge a pageant for the straight sector anyway. Don't we have enough drag pageants to keep Perez busy?