Hello Bully. Remember Me?

No one likes to get pushed around, but unless you can kick someone in the nuts and run real fast (or get on a fast-track to a black belt in karate), most kids don't have the strength or support to do something about it. If you go to a teacher or a parent, the bullying may get worse (at least you think it will) and therefore remain silent taking this other kid's crap.

Bullies are a mean lot and now that we're adults, we know they're usually picking on someone smaller or weaker to make up for some insecurity or lack of love or affection in their personal lives.

Were you picked on as a kid? Did it affect your ability to make friends or do things you wanted, like have hobbies or play sports? I don't know if things have gotten worse or if adults don't take as much of an interest (or maybe I just know more now than I did when I was a kid), but it seems like bullying—especially when it comes to perceived gay youth—has moved to a higher level. Young kids are killing themselves as a way to escape everyday pain surrounding them. And it's not just gay kids who get bullied. We hear about stories in the news all the time about girls brutally beating other girls; young boys being lit on fire. But bullying doesn't have to be physical. Words can be just as bad—and if you think only sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt, you have another thing coming.

My name was often mispronounced by teachers as "airy," and because I was a nice kid who wasn't into sports and had both girls and boys as friends, I got called "airy fairy." It bugged me but not that much because I was generally well-liked. I was never beat up or really picked on. The name calling wasn't constant, but obviously it made an impact if I still think about it now 30 years later. I don't brood over it, but it's in my memory bank. But so many other kids get called names and picked on over and over until they get pushed to a breaking point. Hopefully they can move beyond it before something really bad happens, but sometimes people get pushed too far.

Now that you're an adult, what would you do if you came face to face with your childhood bully? What, if anything, would you say or do to them? Would you be strong or would you revert to that scared little kid? Sometimes, it's better to face our demons so we can move past the pain, even if we think it's not affecting us now.

(Image courtesy of Getty)

Comments

[Anonymous]

So, what's with the picture of the fat guy? You do realize fat kids get bullied too, right?

Do try to remember, not everyone in our community weighs 100 lbs.

[Glenn, Texas]

We have all the political stuff going on right now - Obama stabbing us in the back and screwing us over and you want us to talk about this pathetic article ? Jeez - did gay.com get bought out by the Republicans ? Trying to destract us from real news like the Republican-owned mainstream media ?

[Positive reader]

Great article... I haven't really wondered what would I do if I came across the bully from my childhood. I wasn't beaten up or ostracized from my class but I was frequently name called and pushed to the edge by comments and confrontations I had with the bullies in my youth.
I don't think I would be as strong as I am now if I were to be confronted with my childhood bullies, I would probably mentally collapse and remember all those childhood experiences. I should probably work on that... Thanks

[me]

@Anonymous

What? That is a picture of a "mean guy" - YOU saw the picture as the picture of a fat guy. Being quite husky here, I did not felt like that was a "fat guy" photo at all.

[SteveMD2]

I was bullied by a fat kid. Finally got tired of it in Jr. High. Came up behind him on the stairs. No one else was around.

The fuck prob still has marks from how I tripped him on the stairs. But afterwards, when he saw me coming, he'd go into a classroom, or go the other way.

The real message here is not re physical bullies, but about the arrogant bullies called conservative ministers. IF you take apart what they say, you'll see how their words are full of hatred, and designed to incite others to violence.

example - Love the sinner, hate the sin . OF course in the minds of many it becomes hate the sinner, in the name of God.

Reparative therapy. First, if anything needs to be repaired, it is the christian right wing and their hate. Therapy - a sly comment that gays are mentally ill. In a society where not only gays, but mentally ill etc are subject to brutality by insecure bullies. IF anyone needs therapy, it is the Jesus freaks.

The bible says..... Nice how they use their word of God as a weapon against minority groups. Because we haven't done enough to explain that any religion that always needs a victim is not a religion but a hateful cult.

It's a choice. Well, when did heteros decide to be hetero. And if it is a choice, that would be wonderful. About half the population would identify as gay, and the Jesus freaks brains would become well done "fillet of soul" when they go to their hot just reward. I can hear the hungry dogs and maggots licking their chops already.

Hope I've given people some ideas. Don't just bitch, do something.