Is Pale the New Tan?

For decades, gay men have been forerunners of fashion and style, trendsetters in every field of culture and lifestyle. What gay men do, mainstream follows. We take chances, push the limits and people tucked away in quiet burghs pick up on the buzz, sometimes light years later. So now that the veil has been lifted on the apparent evils of the fake and bake, will gay men lead the charge toward making it chic to be—gasp!—pale?

They're the Total Package. Why Are They Single?

Sometimes you meet people who immediately engage you. You're taken by their energy, their good looks, their kindness. They talk to you—not at you. They ask you questions, are genuinely interested in finding out about you. You learn about them. They have a great job, have loads of friends, always are doing interesting things. But then you find out they're single, and have been for a long time.

Should Hollywood A-listers Come Out?

Over the last week, controversy arose out of comments by two out Hollywood directors during discussions at OutFest, the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian film fest. Both directors, Todd Holland and Don Roos, basically told actors not to come out.

Holland's comments, told before a small audience of just 30 people, were then supposedly taken out of context. The blogosphere interpreted his comments to mean that young, gay male actors should stay in the closet. Perez Hilton wrote that Holland said hiding your sexuality was a necessary choice in Hollywood. Holland, in an article he wrote on July 20, said he didn't tell people not to come out, rather he couldn't advise someone to come out, especially if they reside in the upper echelon of Hollywood's elite.

Roos, on the other hand, didn't sugarcoat his opinion in that he feels the viewing public can't disconnect an actor's personal life or actions from a character they play. “I prefer more mystery," he said. "I don’t want to know about [his or her] political views, whether they’re gay or straight.” He referred to Mel Gibson's infamous drunken Malibu rant and Tom Cruise's couch-hopping incident as things he would consider before casting those actors. He went on to say that he has "a deep respect for homophobia [in America] and I don’t think it will ever go away. I don’t think actors coming out is going to help end homophobia. I think doctors, teachers and lawyers coming out will end homophobia.”

I personally feel that someone's private life should be kept private—if they want it to be (unless they're a politician passing anti-gay legislation and then living a hidden gay life. To that I say, out the bastards!). However, if someone in a position of power is gay and not out it not only hurts them, but also everyone else who is not out or afraid to come out. Roos' comments that doctors, teachers and lawyers coming out has a bigger impact then someone like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt or Shia LaBeouf (I'm not implying these actors are gay; merely that they're big-name A-listers) aren't exactly correct. The bigger a person is and the more in the public eye they are, the more impactful their coming out would be. Who cares about a judge in Cleveland coming out other than maybe people in Cleveland, or said judge's friends and family? But if Tom Cruise came out (again, not saying he's gay; I wouldn't want to get sued for $100 million!), it would have a seismic effect around the world.

So by a gay director telling young, gay Hollywood, particulary guys, to stay closeted, does that inversely affect every other young, gay person afraid to come out? And do you think people wouldn't pay to see a leading-man type or action hero if they came out? Do you base your movie-or TV-viewing choices on what a celebrity does in their personal life? It seems that people forget that actors act; they create characters that are often larger than life, that allow us to escape from our own realities. So why would it matter what they do in their personal life or behind closed doors? Until everyone who is gay comes out and is comfortable living, as Holland said, an authentic life, who else is going to respect the gay community if they don't now?

Online Surveys & Market Research

Images courtesy Getty

Is Aging Harder When You're Gay?

Last week my partner and a friend both told me, almost simultaneously, that I had a few gray hairs coming in on the side of my head. Instead of realizing I often think that men with some salt-and-pepper are sexy and maybe I, too, could be sexy, my first thought was to panic and think I had to color my hair and maybe go blond ... again. Then I came to my senses and remembered getting older isn't a bad thing. It happens to everyone. But can everyone age gracefully? Is there such a thing as "gayging" gracefully?

What Is Butch?

What makes a lesbian butch?

If you had asked me this question twenty years ago, I would have immediately said a butch is an overtly masculine lesbian who dresses like a stereotypical man and acts like a stereotypical man. Period.

Now I don't know if butches have evolved, or if my opinion has evolved, but I can't define a butch so simply anymore. In fact, I'm confused as to what makes a lesbian butch these days.

Hot Guys & Hot Rods: Gays Love Their Cars

Who says gay guys don't know their way around an auto body shop? No, we're not talking about the porn fantasy where you go to pick up your ride and the hot mechanic rolls out from under the car, covered in grease, his jumpsuit open halfway down to his navel—and next thing you know you're both naked and screwing. We're talking about honest-to-goodness, everyday guys who love their cars and know a thing or two about how to fix them.

Sarah Palin Resigns

Sarah Palin resigns as Governor of Alaska: